Website of the Week

The Knights of Malt Merchandise Mart is hilarious. It goes along with the Caledonian Conclave, a website dedicated to the musing of the Brothers who look after the holy peat bogs and partake in the spirits.

My only qualm is that it is updated rarely. But definitely worth a look. Here is the post about their new product, Maltoids®...

MALTOIDS!®

The officially sanctioned pastille of the Knights of Malt, the Caledonian Conclave and the Monks of St. Ardbeg's

Now you too can savor the flavor that guides the faithful! Direct from the peat bogs of St. Ardbeg's, Maltoids® are here.

Just slip one of these mighty lozenges in your mouth and feel the full fury of the Spirit. Infused with malt, peat and the purest water from the bog springs of St. Ardbeg's, Maltoids® can make a mundane mouth feel fully filled by the Spirit.


A vulgar joke passed amongst the Monks goes something like this: "Is that a tin of Maltoids in your femoralia or are you just committing a venial sin?" Seriously though, no monk would be caught out without a tin of our little tablets blessed by the abbott himself. And now you can have the exquisite experience of the Spirit even when the thing itself is unavailable. Try Maltoids® The Furiously Strong lozenge.

Individual tins or cases of 144 for the true believer!

The monks of St. Ardbeg's recommend that Maltoids® not be partaken of while operating heavy equipment, driving or speaking with an officer of the court.

WARNING! Ecstatic vision may occur if the recommended daily allowance of Maltoids® is exceeded. The brothers encourage everyone to partake responsibly.